Norman appears to been something of a chameleon with regard to his appellation.
He was born out of wedlock, and was christened Norman Oudaille Graham [1], possibly taking Oudaille from what seems to have been the sole Oudaille family in New Zealand, for reason of either fatherhood or assistance rendered.
His mother married a Wallace Barrington (we believe that was an assumed name - we are inclined to doubt the provenance information presented by him on his immigration documents - no matching person can be found in UK archives..).
Norman continued to be known as Norman Graham (as registered at Kaikorai School, Dunedin 7/2/1905). It is suspected that until then he had been living with his Graham grandparents.
In 1907 his first stepfather Wallace 'Barrington' departed and Norman along with two of his brothers was taken to a children's hostel run by the Rev. A.E.Axelsen in Dunedin (by now he was known as Norman Barrington). Axelsen was later exposed as a child molester, but the fact that Norman gave the name Axelsen to his son seems to indicate that he had no regrets about his time there. The institution was a useful start in life because when old enough the boys were assisted to find work nearby.
Army enlistment data states that he was at Holme Station, Timaru, a large sheep ranch owned by the Elsworthy family. But he gave his guardian's name on the sign-up document.
The Great War - then disappearance
He joined as a Trooper in the (mounted) Infantry - 1st Battalion Canterbury Regiment. also known as the Canterbury Yeomanry, and shipped to Gallipoli as part of the New Zealand 3rd Expeditionary Force.
His war service took him, we believe, from Gallipoli to Ypres {we have a brass ring fashioned on the Ypres battlefield) and the Somme, and on one of his sojourns in a UK hospital he met Jenny and they were married. A spell in the "Canadian Hospital" in 1915 is recorded.[2]
By the time of his marriage, the middle name Lancelot had appeared [need to check army record too]. He claimed that this had derived from his forebears who used this name alternately as first and second. We believe this to be false, but this is how my father (his son) Lancelot described how he got his name.
After the war the authorities apparently insisted on overseas troops demobilising in their own country. Despite having just married and having a child on the way in Neath, he was obliged to embark on the troopship Ruapehu. He hoped that his new Welsh family would be able to follow him to New Zealand later, but it was not to be. One reason was that Jenny would not leave UK without Tom; he only had one arm, and we understand that the NZ authorities would not take incomplete immigrants.
From letters it appears that he was intending to re-enlist under a different name so as to appear single.
By 1926 he had disappeared, and a divorce was arranged without his involvement [3]. His mother was approached by the court but claimed not to know his whereabouts. We gather from relatives that he had gone to ground after owing money to his new stepfather McGlashan. He left several mail-drop addresses around North Island, including a hostel for returning soldiers at Christchurch.
There was a family rumour that he died in Australia after a riding accident (I suspect something more scurrilous may be hidden here, but secrets have been taken to graves.). We currently have no evidence of further marriages or children.
A record in the Australia Cemetery Index 1808-2007 mentions a Norman Graham aged 72 died 6 November 1965 and buried in the Presbyterian section at Jilliby Cemetery.